chicago crazy

so i went to chicago this weekend to safe the world. as all of you know the movie twilight is coming out, but everyone knows that robert pattinson is playing edward the vampire. well robert actually is edward the vampire. WHAT A TWIST! the movie is just a ploy to make ppl think that vamps arent real. but edward is and he is my bf. step off bitches.


so i went to chicago to save the world and my man from evil mind controlling movie writers and producers. they were going to form a group to set out in downtown chicago to take over ppl's minds. they were going to have them reenact movie scripts that were tossed. matrix 4 never made it to theaters but it will on millenium mile with a vengence! so i had to act fast. edward was already controlled and he was going to take out anyone that got in his way. once i arrived, mind controlled edward was waiting right outside of h&m for me. he held a wire hanger and a knife. he started screaming "no wire hangers", bitch. which is obviously lines from the tossed script of mommy dearest 2: revenge of the psycho mommie. edward came at me with such speed i almost didnt catch his movements. next thing you know i was jabbed and hit in the back by the wire hanger he held. i assumed the knife wouldnt come into play until he beat me enough with the hanger. my head was racing on how to stop him as we fought. Cars were flying. people were running. edward had to finish me off so the evil ones can come and take control before to many people got away. so i hid behind a truck. and i waited and right before edward passed me i stuck my foot out. and he tripped. so i kicked him in the head hoping that he would regain his senses. but i just knocked him unconscious. so i was now alone. red eyes glaring at me from all sides. the evil ones were ready to attack me with classic movie weapons. i was immune to the mind control because i have good taste in movies. i started to fight. using whatever i could to fend them off. i grabbed a puppy and threw it at one of their heads. i grabbed a hub cap off of a car tire to use as a shield and another to boomerang at my foes. they were too much. too many. and edward came to the rescue!! shit he was just snapping necks left and right. but then i came to realize that these were people too! they were just mad that their sucky ideas were not liked. so i had the idea of what i could turn their attention to. it was so obvious! they could be tour bus hosts! and since there was only 20 guys left since edward and i killed the majority of them, woops. we could easily get them jobs. so i went to go talk to my friend bob. and he hired them all. the day was saved! and that was my trip to chicago. and i went shopping.